Home > adultery > Infidelity, adultery, immorality: the fruits of a lie

Infidelity, adultery, immorality: the fruits of a lie

Editor’s note – Seems like the more sexual immorality we have in the church, the less teaching we hear concerning how to overcome it. Check the last  two year’s worth of The Whole Truth and count how many articles have been published on overcoming sexual immorality of any type. Report COGIC Abuse receives numerous marital infidelity reports which are outside our mission scope (almost always from women whose husbands are in ministry). Nevertheless we’d like to pass on some fresh teaching from Pastor Harvey Burnett of New Bethel COGIC in Peoria, IL who gave RCA permission to post this.

Divorce concept

In receipt of an overwhelming amount of calls and cries for marital help due to infidelity and extramarital relationships, I thought that maybe I could put something together that may be of help or encouragement.

If I may:
TO: Those seduced, tricked, trapped or tempted:

DISCONTINUE believing the lie that he or she (the third party) has your best interest at heart. If they did they would not intrude upon your marriage and family. Love involves sacrifice. If you love your God and family, then first sacrifice yourself for the benefit of both. If those who say they have developed feelings for you are authentic, they will not seek to harm you, or anyone you love and they will be among the first to sacrifice their desires for your best interest.

This may be a pill to swallow for some but SELFISHNESS, and the desire to inflict pain upon one’s own self, is the root of most if not all extramarital activity. For reasons ranging from money, to loneliness to not enough physical intimacy, the enemy speaks to try to convince you that you are “entitled” to your experience. Look at it for what it is. it is a LIE. It is a DECEPTION. You are never “entitled” to sin, evil and a defilement of your temple or have the right to defile the temple of another.

There is always a consequence to defilement. Whether a one night stand or an ongoing relationship, don’t “dip in it” if you don’t want to deal the effects of your actions for at least the next 7 years. The bonds are not only physical, but also emotional and in most cases emotional bonds tend to dig much more deep than physical bonds. Not to mention the possible public fallout which may never be able to be managed.

Biblically, when the 7 year jubal occurred, those who were held captive were set free. Those who also had accumulated certain debts were also forgiven. Yes, that was a foreshadowing of Jesus as he has come to set one free immediately from all bonds. However, the scripture says that sexual sins are a rather unique sin. It is a sin “against” one’s own body and has a much deeper source of infliction that it initially appears:

1 Corinthians 6:18: “Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.”

For someone to do something “against his own body” indicates, not only selfishness, and in this case wantonness; but also indicates a propensity toward suicide and murder. This speaks to self-perceptions and individual self-worth. The act ‘appears” to say that an individual loves themselves, but quite the opposite is true. They actually “hate” themselves seeking to medicate that self hatred with sexual activity or the pursuit of it.

Ultimately anyone in this situation knows that they will be eventually “caught” and that there will be pain as a result of that. Now, who intentionally inflicts pain upon themselves unless there is an element of “I don’t care what happens” ? That “I don’t care” is an infliction not only upon one’s self, but also upon those, who are innocent, dependent and connected. That is the process of murder, suicide and self-loathing.

So a truth arises that what many define as “sexual” actions and marital infidelity are often carried out in ways similar to one who commits suicide and one who commits murder.

Look at it further. There are always 2 to 3 things present in suicide and murder. 1- Isolation, 2- Secrecy and 3- (most times) a cover up.

A man or a woman considering entering into sexual sin always isolates themselves. That is the time that the devil incubates the idea and concept and the temptation takes shape. Isolation begins with absence from conversation, meetings, family time etc. Further the “enemy” attempts to convince one that “no one else understands” therefore the isolation is justified.

Next they cover themselves so that they won’t be identified. whether man or woman, they deal in secrecy so that their actions won’t be discovered or discouraged. Then at some point begins the cover up so that they won’t be caught or further exposed.

Secrecy, which is also a strong element of suicide, also involves hiding or shading information from others in part due to fear of being seen in a certain light. The attempt is to reinterpret the facts or do like the White House spokesman, put a new ‘spin” on what is being observed. The reason is because: “They won’t like me if they see me” This is a TRICK. Those who love you and see you vulnerable will do all they can to help you, while the illicit lover will run when vulnerability and truth is exposed especially when that means that they must submit themselves to greater authority and truth.

Keep no secret and maintain no isolation. They are DECEPTIONS and exactly what one should not do if one wishes to avoid marital infidelity.

Proverbs 11:14: Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.

When one is tempted one should run INTO council and people to whom they can be accountable. Run TO godly people and run TO truth, not away from them or it.

Avoid the “cover-up”. Temptation to this will cause a person to assert upon their life that grass is blue and that yellow is brown. Some people who have dedicated their complete lives to truth will lie under circumstances of exposure. That is not uncommon or special. Light comes to illuminate and drive away darkness. Accept the light, because that is the ONLY path out of the darkness of marital infidelity and sexual sins.

It is my hope that those considering unfaithfulness will reconsider the fact of their situation and take and introspective look to deal with the real issue. A “body”, no matter the size, skin tone, shape or the smile that comes with it, will NOT satisfy or address the real problem. If one is considering jeopardizing what could be a lifetime of joy, in exchange for pain, uncertainty and ultimate heartache, one need to simply, wake up, smell the coffee and come out of the fog and rain.

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